Stylistics Essay
Taylor Lamson
Professor Suzanne Scott
ENGL 225
23 April 2019
On Language and Lake Monsters
It was not, he realized, an unfounded fear. Something inside him became turbulent in its presence, something he couldn’t identify but which sparked flashes of violent thought, of the kind he had not had since just after Toby vanished. This feeling came in sharp relief to the easy lethargy the angel normally inspired, and he was reminded of a time when he was younger, sniffing heroin laced with cocaine. So he did not object to Amy’s efforts to exclude him.
Ballingrud, Nathan. “The Monsters of Heaven.” North American Lake Monsters. Small Beer Press, July 2013. Page 110. 80 words.
This passage from Nathan Ballingrud’s North American Lake Monsters is one that is full of elegant contrast expertly tied together to make one, cohesive paragraph. It showcases that even through his entertaining, informal writing style, one can still find the artfulness of Ballingrud’s craft with ease. The paragraph uses contrasting specificity and vagueness, heavily connotated word choice, clever use of phonetics, and an arrangement of equal parts short and long sentences to increase the emotional impact on the reader and demonstrate the underlying complexities this story holds.
The passage contains an odd mix of specific feelings and hazy, vague images. The word “something” is repeated twice in the second sentence of this paragraph. “Something” is used to indicate the undefinable nature of the change affecting the main character, Brian, and allow the reader to imagine it for themselves. This helps the reader to connect with the story on an individual level and find meanings in the story that are more personally relatable to them.
The readers are given no further insight into how or if this change has caused any physical effects, only that it has influenced Brian’s thoughts and feelings. His thoughts are described as “violent,” but we are not given any more information about them. This may have been done intentionally to give the reader a feeling of unease that permeates through the rest of the paragraph and the story in its entirety. The reader can sense danger, but they have no idea what will come next.
We also see this vagueness in the next line when Brian thinks back to when he was “younger.” A specific (or even approximate) age is not given. A possible explanation for the vagueness that occurs here is that Ballingrud intends for the reader to focus on the feelings Brian is experiencing and not the images he is seeing. It is a way to mirror Brian’s own experience; the feelings are what are really affecting him, and this flashback is merely a symptom of that effect. In contrast, we are given specific details to help us further understand these feelings by heavily connotated words such as “turbulent,” “sparked,” “sharp,” “easy,” and “inspired.” These words make a strong impression on the reader and allow them to become even more immersed in the story.
One of the words mentioned above can be further analyzed in order to understand how connotation affects the overall passage; this word is “inspired.” To understand why Ballingrud chose to use this word we can look at some synonymous words that were not chosen: “gifted,” “brought on,” “encouraged,” etc. It is possible that Ballingrud chose to use the word “inspired” to further imply that this experience is something that occurs in the mind but may, in time, prompt physical action. “Inspired” is something that is usually understood as positive, but the way Ballingrud uses it in the passage gives a dark twist to the word and continues to make the reader feel on edge.
In looking at the connotations of the words mentioned previously, one cannot avoid further examining the choice of using “sharp” as an adjective for “relief” and “easy” as an adjective for “lethargy.” The obvious dichotomy of these two phrases is made even more apparent by their placement in the same sentence, with one directly following the other, and it is likely that Ballingrud did this on purpose. While the phrase “easy lethargy” is a bit more common than its preceding phrase “sharp relief,” it is still a distinctive choice. We typically think of the word “easy” as meaning “accomplished without difficulty or problems.” This is an accurate way to describe “lethargy,” as most people do not find it hard to fall into lethargy, but it is also a play on the verb “ease,” which means “to move gently.” Ballingrud may be using “easy” to make the reader envision both the adjectival and verbal use of the word.
This is what makes having “sharp relief” as a predecessor and contrast to “easy lethargy” so interesting. “Relief” is a word that is typically used under calming circumstances; by using “relief” in this passage, Ballingrud indicates that, despite the positive connotation of “easy lethargy,” it is not a positive thing under these circumstances.
This is further enhanced by using the word “sharp,” as it feels out of place in comparison with the soothing language used in the rest of the sentence—this puts more emphasis on the word “sharp” because it is an outlier. “Sharp” is also not a word often used to describe “relief,” making it feel even more out of place and, therefore, more distinctive. We can also look at the way “sharp” sounds and how that affects the sentence. “Sharp” is a quick, jarring sound, made louder by the voiced [š] sound at the beginning of the word. The [š] sound also makes the word “sharp” a bit of an onomatopoeia, as this resembles the sound that is made when a knife is withdrawn from its sheath or holder.
“Sharp” is not the only instance of sound-play in the passage. We see one instance of alliteration in the [ɛ] sound in “efforts at excluding.” There are also three instances of consonance: the repetition of the [s] sound in the second sentence (“something,” “inside,” “presence,” and another occurrence of “something”), the [f] sound in “unfounded fear,” and the [t] sound in “violent thought.” In addition, there is also one instance of assonance in the [ay] sound of the words “inspired,” “reminded,” and “time.” Ballingrud likely chose to use the repetition of sounds to help the passage flow properly and give it consistency. Ballingrud may also be trying to group certain words together so that the readers would associate them with each other.
The first sentence, for instance, could be rewritten as “This fear, he realized, was not unfounded.” However, rephrasing it in this way separates “unfounded” from “fear” and ends up separating the association of those words. The original sentence puts more emphasis on the word “not” by separating it from “unfounded fear” and, in turn, groups “unfounded” and “fear” together. The rephrased sentence, on the other hand, puts too much emphasis on “fear” and not enough on the negator “not,” making the sentence fall flat. The rewrite does not affect the reader as strongly as the original because it reaches the noun too early and ends up trailing off. The original sentence places the noun at the end to avoid this.
In looking at structure, observing the arrangement of sentences within the paragraph can also provide further insight. Made up of four sentences, the passage begins with a short sentence, follows with two long sentences, and then ends with another short sentence. One explanation for this may be that Ballingrud is bookending the paragraph. Bookending this passage may have been done simply for consistency, a way to round out the paragraph on both ends, or it may be another form of grouping. If we group the short sentences with each other we can see that they focus on the same topic, as do both long sentences. Beginning and ending the paragraph with a short sentence can be used to bring the reader back to the original topic of the paragraph.
Another idea is that Ballingrud may be choosing to put more emphasis on the shorter sentences. The longer sentences do not grab the readers’ attention as strongly as the short, concise sentences do. The longer sentences provide extra information and details that the reader can interpret however they see fit. The short sentences state a fact. Even the previous sentence of this essay, “The short sentences state a fact,” is an example of how a short sentence can take a strong stance and have a stronger effect on the reader because of it. Short sentences often have an unquestionable finality—they are less open to interpretation—and Ballingrud may have chosen to use them to imbue a sense of permanence in the reader.
Ballingrud’s attention to detail in not only this section of the story, but the entire book, is something to be admired. He clearly has an intimate understanding of stylistic techniques and uses them to his advantage in his writing. The way he uses purposeful vagueness vs. specificity, connotation, phonetics, and sentence arrangement sets the tone of the piece and evokes an emotional connection with the reader.
Appendix: Visual Layout
- It was not, he realized, an unfounded fear.
- Something inside him became turbulent in its presence, something he couldn’t identify but which sparked flashes of violent thought, of the kind he had not had since just after Toby vanished.
- This feeling came in sharp relief to the easy lethargy the angel normally inspired, and he was reminded of a time when he was younger, sniffing heroin laced with cocaine.
- So he did not object to Amy’s efforts to exclude him.
- X_______,_________,________________.
- X___________________________________________,__________________________________________________________________,____________________________________________.
- X_______________________________________________________________,__________________________________________,_____________________________.
- X__________________________________________.
Works Cited
Ballingrud, Nathan. North American Lake Monsters. 2007. Reprint. Small Beer Press, July 2013.
Press, July 2013.
